The first girl I get to meet

Last night my son brought home a girl. No big deal, right? He’s 17 and is probably the cutest boy in school so why wouldn’t he have a girl here? It’s just that this was the first girl he brought home to meet me and his sisters. Ever.  Prom is coming up and he’s going to take her as his date so he figured I should meet her. Since my boy is shy and certainly doesn’t chat about girls with me, this was the first I had heard of him even having a ‘girlfriend.’

“Just don’t be weird, mom,” he warned me. 

For years I’ve wondered when this day was coming. When he was a little boy I used to hug and love on him and dress him in cute T-shirts that said ‘I ❤️ mom“ or “mommas boy.” People would tell me “he’s going to be a heartbreaker someday.” I always thought I’d have his dad with me here to be a comfort and a confidant in this milestone.

I wondered about the handsome man my son was going to be and all the girls he’d bring home in the coming years. I used to think there wasn’t one girl I could envision for him because nobody would be beautiful or smart enough for my boy. Maybe every mother of boys can relate. I can honestly say I now get why Matthew’s mom didn’t like me either lol. For a long while your son only loves and hugs and needs his momma —snuggles next to you and holds your hand everywhere. No matter how hard we wish for it to stay like that forever, it never will.

So he brought a girl over here to meet his crazy protective mom and I tried my best to act nice and dignified and polite and… not crazy. All of which aren’t my strong points. She told me she had a cat, to which I told her that I’m deathly allergic to cats and I think they are evil. I asked if she had any brothers or sisters and she told me she had three younger siblings, and two minutes later I asked if her brother was older. I asked her where she was from because she has a unique sounding name. She said New York. Awkward silence. …  I think I might have told her I was a horrible cook … then offered to get her any drink or some food. Jesus, I suck at this. 

Then I spent the next two hours going back and forth to ‘check on laundry’ since the laundry room is next to his room where they were watching a movie. I must’ve asked at least a dozen times if they wanted anything. Water? Snacks? Some distance between y’all? Haha. 

I know I should learn to let things go and trust him. To accept that my kids are getting to life stages that I, too, experienced freely many eclipses ago —and I made it out ok. 

But dang if I didn’t let out the biggest sigh of relief when she left because that shit was torture. I hate doing this stuff especially alone. Please God, help me on this journey, to practice patience and have joy and acceptance in being here with my kids during these life moments. I hope Matthew is watching over the kids and me, especially on days like this when things would be so much more fun with him here. 

And please someone for the love of God, help me to stop being so damn weird.