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Let's acknowledge a best friend's grief, too

My late husband Matthew had a lot of friends. He was the kind of person who didn't really make enemies, so it's no wonder it seemed an entire town full of friends packed the funeral home and even lined up along the street for hours in his honor nearly three years ago. But throughout his life he was closest to two guys who became his best friends—in thick and thin, over long distance or up the street, through different stages and experiences, in relationships, jobs (or no jobs), kids (or no kids), life challenges—all the way up to the day they both flanked his casket and lowered him into the ground. Adam and Chris Z were as close to Matthew as blood brothers ever could have been.
Eighteen years ago this month when we got married, I'll admit I was slightly annoyed when Matthew said he wanted two best men. Neither he nor I had brothers so he had to choose among friends. "You have to pick one," I told him. "I can't choose one over the other," he said.  An…

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