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Four years and still standing

Four years doesn't seem like a lot of time. It's the time it took to get through high school. The time in which I managed to graduate from college. It's the length of a really high-priced car lease I was swindled into signing back in 1999. It's about the time that lapsed between my wedding day and the day I had my firstborn. And today, it's also the span of time that's elapsed since my husband Matthew died on Nov. 19, 2017. It doesn't seem like a lot of time but then again can seem like ages when month after month, year after year you've measured time in the milestones and life happenings that he's missed. November is a heavy month. Because no matter how far I move away from that familiar "feeling of November" it will always be stuck in my head, even as I sit here in the warm Arizona desert. That smell of wet leaves. The biting cold air. The once colorful landscape that turned brown and grey and dreary. All reminders to me of a time when th

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